She sits in the dark.
You see this girl with her cigarette
The smoke trailing around her mind,
What is it she wants?
What makes her strive to stay alive?
Her eyebrows furrowed in thought
Looking into her database
logging into file titled:
“At Least today is not that day!”
When daddy wheezed in her ear
telling her to stay still
as he ripped her body and mind to pieces.
She’s camouflaged herself in black.
The color to hide in shadows
The color that matches bruises
You speak to her and shock her into silence,
She’s been caught hiding in her safe haven.
“Hello, how are you?”
What is she thinking?
You pry and prod, trying to find the meaning of her.
Poke her with your stick of questions
And when she finally opens up,
You don’t want her.
She sits alone in a horrifyingly lit place.
You violated her safe haven
Her shadows and secrets.
You got what you wanted:
She didn’t get what she needed:
She takes too much trying.
And now she smokes her cigarette
trying to reformat her hard drive.
Trying to get her files locked
Under several more passwords.
She will not be hacked again!?
Crying and angry with herself
For letting herself be hacked.
Such a fragile complex box of secrets.
And you don’t care for her well-being.
Just playing another game
with another puzzle.
When all you have to do is show up and see how she is.
When all you have to do is say “I’m sorry!”
Because she can forgive.
But that takes too much trying!