I dream of you too actually


So. I checked my spam comments folder. I have dreams of you too, about this, you seem intuitive too. In my dreams I keep trying to tell you “thank you for giving him what I could not.” I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
There is so much to be said and clarified.
First off I think what happened was an accident. I don’t think he did it on purpose. Yes I was paranoid prior and a lot of that was influence by biased exterior people (police officers) that have dealt with more extreme situations and I know they assumed the worse, which caused me to as well, and I know they were telling me stuff just to protect me. It’s complicated.
I have so much to say, to explain, to heal.
Let me know if you want to have a drink or smoothie or coffee and get this out.
Or if you just want to have a private conversation from a phone booth so we don’t share numbers. Or just e-mail. But I think we need to see facial expressions and hear tone.
Whatever. When there is a will there is a way. I just want to heal this. But I only ask we be open to each other’s perspective, listen actively, and find a resolution. I don’t want you or him to hurt from this anymore, and I don’t want to hurt from this anymore.
I’ve moved on from him. And truth be known he didn’t love me the same way I felt for him. That’s apparent. Because he would had done anything to be there for me if he felt the same way I did. He was my person. I literally trusted him with my life. He Was the most important person on the planet to me, next to my family. He is not anymore.
Not after that. The betrayal of trust and the rage from being abandoned…..I’ve done a lot of work to get to the root of this. There is no justification for the behavior on either ends. Not if we really want to find peace and move forward.
Think about it and let me know how you want to handle this, if you want to, up to you. I am willing to work on negotiating comfortorability and safety for either party. But I will not be open if I keep getting threatened by other people. I know they think they are trying to help, but it terrifies me and it causes me not to trust it fully, and I will not work with anyone who threatens me.

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