Heart beat

My heart is pounding in my chest right now. I am not feeling too well. I need to take care of myself. I’m exhausted emotionally, physically, socially, all over the place, and spiritually.

I’m in a surprising good mood for having such a shitty weekend despite some stuff. But I did the coping mechanisms my therapist and I talked about and my spiritual advisor talked about. And I’m going to do more.

I know life is not all doom and gloom. I talked about some really personal things. And I wrote a letter to my “church” about what set me off into a tailspin last night about the murder comment. It was tactful and I illustrated some consequences it could create. I just tried to keep it constructive.

But I am angry about having to even say something. It’s not a spiritual way of handling things.

I need some fun and joy. I need to be treated with love right now. I’m super vulnerable and there are predators out there that think your fresh meat. But I need emotional support. Face to face contact. Relaxation and no stress. Universe please be there and send me more positive vibes.

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