Speaking Out About Rape
Arkansas Crisis Center
Things I do to cope:
if someone is not available call a hotline
talk to my therapist
write my feelings
lay in bed until I get some healthy feedback
Inventory the things I did to take care of myself that day.
Do not ignore my feelings
Get past my anger so I can cry
Don’t lash out at people when I’m angry, call someone, read something, walk
Go to a spiritual meeting
When the PTSD or triggers occur I focus on my surroundings, and the presence of them, to know I’m not there anymore. It’s in the past and this is the present. I count or spell out words.
Distract myself by going out, and if that doesn’t work, go home and chill
Check with my gut instinct before making decisions.
When I freeze in a panic, I try to just breath and focus on a benevolent god
When the negative thoughts come in my mind, I focus on who is really responsible or think of a positive opposite
Negative: God doesn’t love me otherwise he wouldn’t have let that happen to me.
opposite: It wasn’t an act of god, it was William, he is a human, he did this to me. His brain is literally hard-wired that way. I am innocent.
Negative: Everybody hates me cause I was raped. I make people uncomfortable. I’m marked forever to never be normal.
Opposite: It makes them uncomfortable and they can’t handle it, that is their issue with it. I am a worthwhile human being, I deserve love, compassion and understanding.
Negative: Everyone thinks I’m crazy, everyone blames me for the trauma, and my PTSD. the panic attacks, No one will ever love me.
Opposite: I am loved by friends. I am not ostracized. The people who blame me are not my friends. I don’t need people like that in my life.
Negative: Because I was raped, no man will love me. (after being broken up with within 2 months of me telling them I was raped- it happens consistently) I shouldn’t have told them.
Opposite: (Still working on this one.)
Negative: I will get murdered or snatched. He will send someone after me.
Opposite: I have a tazer, I have mace, I have a knife, I have a phone, I have the police departments’ numbers in my phone, I let people know where I am, I have a gps device to track me.
Negative: If I say no to rough sex they will loose interest.
Opposite: If they have an issue with me not liking rough sex. Get rid of them!
Negative: Because I have suicidal thoughts since the trauma, I will never be in a relationship, I am too high risk. I can not guarantee tomorrow will be better.
Opposite: I want a family someday, I want a mate and a partner, not just a lover, I am taking actions to take care of me so I can be a better person in a relationship. I am smart, funny, prettyish, someday someone will see this in me, and it will be mutual. I only have today, it is my day, and I want to choose to be happy instead.
Negative: I’m supposed to be dead. I have a terrible immune system. People always talk to me like I’m stupid or there to serve their needs, with no consideration for me. I don’t matter to anyone.
Opposite: I’m alive, somehow I’m alive. That has to mean something.