I must and have to keep things in persepctive. It is hard to recover from abusive people, especially with lack of support by this gossip driven society. However, there is hope, and honestly I don’t need anyone in my life who doubts me. I have to detach with love from my own memories. And not find myself in these situations again. No I don’t look for these things to occur, but I now no longer ignore the warning signs. If I see someone react in a way that is throwing a tantrum, or throwing things around, I will bounce and leave.
I don’t speak up about my abuse for the abusers, I speak up for the victims. We need to know they don’t have that power over us, we need to know we can have a better life, we need to know that those red flags aren’t figments of our imagination.
We need to know there is hope and help.
Yes, as a victim, you react in ways that are shameful to yourself, trying to deal with irrational behavior. Trying to gain control over the efforts against you, yes, you even feel like a culprit yourself, but the difference between an abuser and you is you feel shame as a victim, for reacting, for letting that person get to you, for not being strong enough. It happens, but you have a choice to continue the cycle or walk away. Choose the other answer.
Recovering from narcissistic abuse is tough and people have to do with without validation of their feelings. Find out how to recover from narcissistic abuse.
Check out the article on psychcentral, but also, see the resources if you need help. The more research for knowledge I’ve done, the more I’ve discovered over and over again, that it wasn’t my fault, but it was my choice to participate in unhealthy relationships. I choose to no longer do that anymore, for myself. This has come from prayer, manifestation, speaking with my therapist, and supportive people, and coming to the understanding of my personality and how it attracts specific types of drama infused people. I have always been a fixer, a caregiver, a nurturer, and I want to truly help people, but I can’t do the work for them, as an INFP, I see how dangerous this has become for me, and I’m tired of it taking time out of my life, and my happiness. I have had a lot of testing situations these past two weeks, and I see them as affirmations of my power of choice.
I need to honor myself and my feelings, even if someone else doesn’t, to help myself move on, and live on, and I have also taken steps and actions to protect myself.
I am a reference for a character witness in regards to a particular person who just got arrested. And at this point it’s not just my word against someone else’s, the truth reveals itself, as it always does, and the truth was shown loud and clear. It has also helped me understand, what field of psychology I am thinking of going into, as a back up. My minor in psychology has helped me restore some errors in my thinking.
I look forward to the day I don’t have this in my life, but healing takes time, and I’m feeling I’m on the edge of the storm now, and I’m not looking for other storms to come to my life. I let them go, and I imagine them in god’s hands, literally, be good to them god, even if they aren’t good to me, please let them know the error of their ways as you have shown me, and help me do the next right thing that helps you.