Some people may feel a little weird about this, It’s a different type of prayer. I do not endorse any specific religion or spiritual form. This is for you who may need this: http://elishasmantle.freeyellow.com/prayertrauma.pdf
There are a lot of prayers, rituals, or other things that people do for acts of healing from trauma. This is one that a friend of mine gave to me to pray.
Over time prayer has helped me, but meditation also helps me, getting focused in my body in the present, not allowing the past to affect me. When it’s too intense, I go out, hang out with friends, keep me distracted, so I don’t digress. When confronted with a triggering situation, I remove myself from the situation, to pause, take a breath, and see if I can go back to it.
There are a lot of prayers out there to help, belief.net, is a good one for christians. Last year I asked for the Medicine Buddha to help and aid me in my recovery during a guided meditation, I have even prayed to saints. Since then I have come to the conclusion I am an Omnitheist. Where no religion is right or wrong, they all represent God, every god is a representation of the same god.
Honestly, I know how angry it feels to have to turn to god. Where was god when you needed it? Why didn’t it protect you from your trauma, your violence?
That wasn’t god, that was man. That was a person’s motives and desires. It was not a lesson from god, it wasn’t punishment. It was the action of a separate entity, a human being, who chose to use you as an object for their abuse. That’s all, no other meaning than that, at least that is what I take in my case, you can take what you like from your experience.
At least that is my understanding of it, that I have to believe to get me through this, god had nothing to do with it, researching the science behind why these people do this, helps me understand, they are just that way, it’s a sickness in their mind. A violent mentality, that was expressed physically on me.
I need reason to understand things, I don’t just take people’s words for it, and I have to make sure things are backed up with scholarly articles, come from credible sources, before I will consider it as fact. So how do I believe in god?
There is energy right? What is god but energy? Not an idea, but a physical presence, it’s in me, it’s in the ground, it’s in the body of living things, energy. To me, god is the collective force that holds everything together, makes things move, grass doesn’t have a brain, but it’s living. If that man didn’t have a brain, he wouldn’t have made the decision to harm me. Otherwise, he would have just been like grass.
I hope that makes some semblance of sense. So much can be said without saying much. And when I pray, I take an action to be open to spirit, light, positivity, hope, and out of the dungeons of the trauma. It has helped me. I hope you find what helps you.