I have been working on releasing that which holds me back. My self-vonsciousness, my bruised ego of seeing all these people doing wonders in the world and i have spent three years getting back to myself. 

Sometimes i feel evhos of past times in places in this city. Apparently its time to heal the heartsickness i feel of lost loves, friends, and family. 

My step-father is an amazing man, and i spend so mich tome trying to get myself back, for him, though he passed away. 

I watch my mother miss him so, and it breaks my heart. I hope someday to make her proud of me, although she is, but now i must plan to be her caretaker as time passes on. The role has been a blessing. It has brought us closer. 

I hope pops is with me. I need his strength and courage so much. I miss his hugs and his laughter. 


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