Time Clock

Fucked my Heart

Made a madness of my mind

betrayal of another kind

over and over again

who is she

who is this

who is she really

a woman

had an abortion

his name was Damian

because of betrayal

of HIS rooster minded

obsession with my

previous history

And here I am god

crying

dying

pleading

screaming

questioning, questioned of my character

because I have no fiction

no real fiction

except this reality

that I am not the one

for anyone to love

just a pit stop to change your oil

and move on to another girl

FOR YEARS

and years

times up

recognize

I’m not Alice in Wonderland

cause this isn’t a wonderful story

It’s real

I am not a prostitute

nor have I ever been

just treated like one

over and over again trying to find love

I’ve been objectifying myself

and I hate what I have done to myself

The truth is inside me

My eyes have seen the evil of men

even women

Fear driven

because he stole my phone years ago

Been made to move and run and go here go there

go this way

that way

no compass

I used to have such a good sense of direction

and I pray to god to save me

every minute every day every year

to love me back

love me like I love you back

Turning burning spinning

like a zoetrope

But so much interference

Trying to go from victim to survivor

but they won’t stop victimizing me

and try and say its all in my head

a figment of my imagination

I’m too old for this shit

I’m not the problem here

YOU ARE

If you had gone through it

If it had happened to you

would you judge so quickly

STOP violating ME

Whistle Blower

call the dogs to defend her

defend me

I am not the ENEMY

Just trying to be a friend

I tried to tell you

Do no Harm

that is God’s Law

just trying to be as real as My soul believes and knows I am

God know me, bought time you did to

except treat people

with APATHY

I will not go back to HELL

Over this HUGE miscommunication

my skin burns, my nerves on fire, like 2010

Over and over again.

Just let me live happy, joyous, and free

I want my own family woman day

I want to get married some day with the RIGHT GUY

Believe my heart has never changed

And there are things that ARE UNFORGIVABLE

And I will not and I cannot forgive rapists, robbers, murderers, or pedophiles

those people are FUCKED UP!

GO FUCK yourself

Stop fucking with my mind, my heart, my body, and my soul

Get the PICTURE of opportunity?

I’m one of gods kids, and god is Mr. Right On Time.

 

 

 

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