As we live and breathe and die.
I lay here sitting trying not to cry
feelings rendered in life’s path
trying no to unleash
the rage in me
breathing, reading, crying,
talk to jesus girl
just to tease US tease you.
Did you know?
not every suicidal person
has a homicidal vendetta
against women, children, & men.
confusing my mind heart & soul.
as I trust other people’s opinions, or scams, or fake-outs.
getting prank calls & actors acting & actions
as if the world is my stage
fuck this bullshit!
I am not a book
I am not an object
I am not Alice in wonderland
I am not Carrie the Movie
or Betty Crocker (an ad)
i’m just me, not a whore.
i’m just me, miss nevermore
never gonna win
never gonna recover
from gossip, domination, & arrogant (motherfuckers)
and while people give compassion
to everyone else but me
I get the silent treatment
because one guy hurt me real bad in my heart
and then came another and another and another and another and another
men using their dicks like guns
and my sexual body like a slave
go find a match girl
meet him on tinder, we got plenty of apps for that
meaningless sex & heartbreak
everyone clink their glasses
Happy New Year she’s just a fine piece of asses (ashes) making a fool of herself looking for love
don’t talk about suicide, don’t talk about how you were raped, don’t talk, don’t talk, laugh and have fun.
i almost used a gun on myself
almost jumped off a bridge into the interstate
after that man did what he did
they said “looking for a death wish”
well, you didn’t hear my prayers in my head assholes!
that’s not a wish i wish on any star
it’s a wish to be loved, to be cherished, to be appreciated, for my undying love for love.
that is god or goddess or whatever you call in somebody. If thats narcissism.
actually it is pretty fucking normal.
well you should catch that bug in this web of life.
i’m looking for a man, a good man, to be in love with, as a woman, i need a good man. i’m not getting love from a being that isn’t next to me that i can touch, embrace, feel. god is an idea about good and evil. and if god is about good, i pick good, it is my internal clock now everytime.
but the blood and guts man, i can’t do it, i see the evil of men and women in those pictures of jesus crucified. i know the world is about life and death.
and god wouldn’t want me to be crucified for that man over there. or anyone for that matter.
not the real benevolent god that rules the earth that brings spring and nature. same god, every religion, positive energy.
my goddess inside me is mother nature nurture female virgo
sometimes too much, sometimes to little.
but who cares!
nobody fucking cared.
watch the devil men god, watch them, and take them out.
i do not bless them cursing me.