Schitzo Poet

Chapter 3| Ra

Schitzo Poet

Tired of abuse excuses
Tired of your mind games
Don’t want your prescriptions
Tired of defending myself/
It’s not an excuse/
Tired of defending you
and walking around eggshells
Mine is the hard road/
Cause I don’t want to drink/
Don’t want to smoke weed/
Just want my coffee and my cigarettes/
And my eyes that gleam/
Dable in artwork/
Dable/
Put my brush in some paint/
Mix with charcoal and framing
Mix with words and anonymity
And a little spoken word/
Crate a scatter
With a splatter/
Of my name/
It/
All fades/
Door click over sensitized/
To these conch shells
Right next to church bells
Didn’t know it would ring/
Ding/
Ding/
Stop Screaming
.stop./
where is my identity/
don’t show them your deuces./

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Soul Speech

Chapter 3|Ra
Soul Speech

Let him go deary-do
You need this time
It’s all for you deary-do
This is bitter like lime
Go with the flow deary-do
I’m speaking from time
I love you deary-do.

Lingering Limbo

Chapter 3|Ra

 

Lingering Limbo

 

Almost complete

We stay still

Never taking advantages of chances

To confront the reality

Fear is what drives me away from you

Love is what makes me run

Or an image of you I created

That you actually care.

So take this and shove it

Up your ass

Or in your heart

All I know is that I’m waiting on you

To give me salvation from limbo

Hit me with anything

Just don’t let it linger!

Morphing Wall Flower

Chapter 3|Ra

Morphing Wall Flower

 

These people

They like to talk

They like to masturbate thoughts

Hear their own hand

Stroking

They’ll tear you down

Or bring you up

But most of the time

It’s just politics

Just tricks.

I’ve gotten some strange looks

Comical

And critical

I’m off the wall and into the scene

I’ve watched so long

And now I’m breaking off the vine

People are so picky with flowers

I can bloom red

And see their love

I can bloom yellow

And flop them like a puppy’s ear

I can show a thorn

Or a bug eating a petal

And make them wince

Or unappreciated me

The whole time I turn gray with worry

With “if they pick me’s”

And other times I do not go gray

And they see me

As I am, a weed.

Martyr Vs. Masochist

Chapter 3|Ra

 

Martyr vs. Masochist

 

So wrong…

Horribly wrong

Stubbornly gone

Into a dream

That turned to illusion

Fucking magician.

Trickster of mirrors

And smoke

And slight of hand.

And it’s funny

That he had inspired this heart so

The deception brought Despair

And her arm around her

To her right

So close an enemy

You sir may read this

If it reaches those coveted dusty shelves

And she thanks you

For the torment you brought her

By whispering in this ear

With your beak

And black feathers

Leaving scars on this shoulder

Where you once perched

As charismatic smoke

And she came to realize

You are no friend

Her arm around you

To her right.

Drag the hook into the blood chamber

yank the fish line

tear a sliver

eat a piece

monkey lips drinking Sin Zen

martyr chimera

helped her to define masochism.

New

Chapter 3|Ra

New

 

I do not need you

Take no offense

But I need me

Beyond anything else.

Clove cigarettes and a scared throat

Are a taste

Of how I felt

Before I trusted myself

Beyond anyone else.

I do not need you

And I’ve been set free

From a lot of things

That always kept me

Chained

To the same old thing,

To the same old thing.

And if you want me

More now

Then stay

If you want me

more now

Then stay.

This is the beginning

Of a wondrous new thing.

Let it Go

Let it Go

 

Reeling in this flow

Trying to see where it is to go

Be like water

And I caught her

 

Most of the time I feel

That my poetry is not enough

And I’m whining about not being able to heal

I feel like you just want me to shut up.

 

When your hanging from the ceiling

Looking for a way to get down

But looking is vertigo sending

When all you want to do is get out of town.

 

Crying like a hurricane

Because it’s all the same

Reeling in this flow

I must remind them:                                                                                            Let it go.